road to hell

Despite my best intentions, I did not make it to yoga class on Sunday.   I didn’t even meditate this weekend or read through my Kundalini book.   Instead I opted for time spent outside grooming and working on ground games with the ponies.  I ate good food, I drank good wine and I relaxed.     I read instead a book I picked up at Faulkner House Books the time before last – half way through and never finished.    Which set me off into a tail spin of dreaming of owning a flat in the Vieux Carré,  a place whenever I want to make a quick getaway to.    Then again wouldn’t I want a place on the gulf coast or in nicaragua?   Can’t I have it all?     I also need a new horse trailer.    Forgoing my usual spring trip this year out of the valley so I can get said trailer.    I’m looking forward to taking a trip to Baja this fall at some point.

I need to focus.  My idea is to work for myself.    I have an idea of opening an art supply store in town.   We have a large community of artists without an art supply store.   Year round we have at least 20,000 residents.     That number doubles during the summer adding in approximately two plus million tourists wafting through on their way to the national parks.   Finding space, writing a business plan and figuring out how to make the financials work are the hardest parts.   I need help – in the way of a loan and also finding space.

I get frustrated on a regular basis. I want to throw the towel in.   I know I could make this idea work though.    It’s terrifying at the same time.  To throw away the security blanket of a steady income, to take on risk.   Shit – this life is all I have and if I can’t make something of myself then what the fuck am I doing?  I’m wasting precious time.

I have a meeting coming up with the fim I work for in which I will pitch my idea to and ask for thoughts – I will also ask to adjust my schedule giving me time to either ride or get my yoga on before coming in.

Focus and breathe.

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About Della

photography a work in progress; always growing, continually learning
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