One month ago today I moved out. One month ago I had no idea what was in store for me. One month ago I never thought I’d be getting divorced from a man I’d been miserably married to for ten years. Granted, we did have our moments however, the negative always out weighed the good. This month has been such a healing month. This month has been such a struggle as I’ve run through the gamut of emotions. Mostly sadness and anger.
Last week I started finalizing divorce paperwork and sent it to my ex yesterday. I spoke to him for a minute today. He sounded far away and cloudy. I know that he needs compassion more than ever right now. I know he is struggling. At this point for me it’s all about self preservation, nurturing myself and moving forward in a positive direction. All of which I have been actively doing. I feel a huge weight has been lifted. I am lighter and happier than I’ve been in years.
In talking to my therapist I discovered the first time I felt betrayed by my ex and how that wound was never healed. There was a repeat cycle to that hurt that never healed. I carried the weight of that hurt and tried to dismiss it as nothing important.
I am finding my own voice. I am growing and healing…..