I want to write a story but lack direction…. I start with the old man in the park sitting in the bench by himself dressed in rags with a grocery cart filled to the brim with a sleeping bag, a coat and tin cans. I worked at this dive of a texmex restaurant where I’d hook all my friends up and it was always beer thirty. I’d have homeless guys wander in and I’d always feed them too. It made me so sad to see them so desolate like no one loved them or took care of them…
My dreams of late have been dragging up the past and I look for a things which aren’t what they seem.
Her life flashed before her like a B rated movie and she just sat there wondering what does it all matter
Charlie Parker lived to 34 and look what he accomplished. I wish I think I wish but I wouldn’t want his problems mine are heavy enough and yet what have I accomplished at 36. Nothing but a bunch of lousy short stories that have no rhyme or reason.
I’m horrible at writing things down or remembering details; I’m awful at writing in general my thoughts are random all strung together barely coherent if folks knew what I was thinking half the time they’d run home to their mammies and hide under her skirts.
What am I good at? I’m good at having fun. I’m good at making you laugh, I’m good at being silly….
So remember and maybe something will come of it…
Remember when we listened to jets to brazil, danced around the shop and took the bottle of wine to sit under the gazebo and stayed up talking all night
Remember waking up covered with sand from head to toe after going night swimming at the beach
Remember when we drank moonshine and I walked around your house without any clothes on
Remember when you would come home with me and do nothing but sleep beside me
Remember when you and I were going to take music classes, I would play guitar, you would play bass and we would both sing
Remember when you played piano as I sat beside you and he played the trumpet and that night I never wanted to leave but had to
Remember when we did blow all night and had to climb the fence to get into your flat on south beach and how I felt dirty and weird
Remember winter music fest, dancing to rabbit in the moon, staying up all night, laying out at the pool by josh wink and repeating it all over again the next day. Remember getting into the party at liquid, drinking champagne and making it over to the miss moneypenny’s party in the mansion
Remember going to gainesville, simon’s house, hanging out with sasha and digweed in beanbags drinking mimosas
Remember going to firestone in orlando, vip here, there and it was all about the ride
Remember when things went south and I realized what the hell was I doing in south florida wasting my life with losers and while it was fun and while I was just as guilty as you; I have been trying to make up for it ever since…
Remember when we fell into the bushes
Remember swimming naked at the beach in broad daylight
Remember sitting on top of the roof with three waxing eloquently about life and religion
Remember when chris would make mix tapes for us
Remember sitting in the car at our best friend’s wedding, listening to modest mouse and spilling our hearts out to each other
Remember swimming in the afternoons at the yacht club
Remember going to new orleans with my new found angel, seeing janet jackson live and partying on bourbon with dragqueens
Remember bloodys at TuJacques and crawfish omelettes at mothers
Remember drinking red wine and making meatballs in the afternoon with the frenchman and the Sicilian italian
Remember when I didn’t drink until after I was twenty one even though all my friends did
Remember hanging out at david’s house, falling in love with and listening to the cure
Remember tammy answering the front door without any clothes on a regular basis
Some of these memories make me laugh and others are painful. What I am doing? Where is my stroke of brilliance? What is this leading up to?
What do I want and how do I get there is the question that I’m left with….