Sitting here in my office; lazily daydreaming out the window looking at the sun glistening off of the local ski hill and thinking how fast winter has flown by. The differences of this time last year and now. I am not bored or complacent, two issues I often encountered living in the humidity that is the gulf coast in that asking, almost begging for change and change came with a vengeance. She turned my world upside down and wreaked havoc.
Last year was a mess…. It was challenging as life can often be. I didn’t always rise up to meet the challenge; fight or flight kicked in often resulting in flight. It was a struggle.
I spent the better part of a week in a Buddhist Temple in Korea a few years ago and have often thought back to that time and place and wished I could have just stayed there, live there. However, you are not put to test and challenged to change in time spent in a Temple. It’s a resting place of peace and tranquility.
I dared to think moving to the mountains would calm my angst, my restlessness and make me commit to meditation and working on my spiritual being. Panic attacks started happening; I had migraine headaches…. I thought I was “going crazy” following in the steps of my mother and grandmother…. I went to see the HH the Karmapa in Boulder, I went to see various Tibetan monks here in Jackson, I went to Ashland Oregon for a session with Gangaji…I went on benders in between ….. So what’s different now…..I’ve learned it’s a triple threat process, physically, spiritually and mentally…. My practice of yoga has been given a new life; I’ve spent as much time as possible playing outside on the mountain this winter, I’ve gone to church, yes church, a few times and a few times to meditation…. I’ve learned that’s it’s a process and to be patient with myself no matter what…. Two months and counting the progress and life changes that are finally being incorporated as I find my way, my path….. moving into the light away from the darkness ~
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. – Buddha