depression blows monkey balls

What happens to make a person give up?   What happens to make a person stay in bed all day?  What happens when a person looses the will to live and doesn’t care any longer?    What does the family do in this situation?   What does the husband do if this woman is his wife?  What do the children do if this is their mother?    Depressed and not willing to try; not willing to make a change.  The mother repeats on a constant basis she doesn’t want to be like “her mother” however she does nothing to change the path she is on therefore she is becoming “her mother” venom and all.    The choice to do nothing is still making a choice.     My sister and I have conversations round and round.   My sister is angry, understandably so.  I am no longer angry and at the same time I know I cannot blame myself or feel guilty for the situation my mother has created for herself.    My youngest brother at 19 who still lives at home has had to bear the brunt of my mother’s depression which of course in order to deal with it or not deal with it rather, he drinks and now smokes cigarettes.  He says he’s not angry; he just doesn’t care.  However his actions and attitude speak differently.   He used to surf and play soccer and be a good deal healthier.   

Counseling and meds only help to a certain extent.  At some point you have to be proactive in taking care of yourself in order to get yourself on the right track of course with the help and support of family and friends.    This presents another issue with my mother since she is most awkward in social situations (aka never grown up) and has not made friends. However change is change and I refuse to make excuses for her self-inflicted helplessness……    It sucks for the whole family and makes the holidays and special occasions a real pain in the ass.


About Della

photography a work in progress; always growing, continually learning
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2 Responses to depression blows monkey balls

  1. Brian says:

    Yeah, it sucks. With you there in spirit, Del.

  2. Della says:

    Thanks Brian 🙂

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