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Some days this is how I feel
happy to be alive
content with myself
and happy to be a woman

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other days I realize this is a part of me
and make peace with it
for better or for worse there are parts of me that will never change
love me or leave it
never said it was right
just that way
some days are nicer than others

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happy mediums

are hard to find
and even harder to keep
as I find myself spiraling out of control
somewhat akin to a toy that can’t stop itself
and yet these are the things I do to myself
it is so i can feel even the least bit alive
meaning in life escapes me
and the normalcy of the day to day returns
and maybe [...]

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look away now

attempting to shake this “getting sick” feeling, hoped the glasses of wine had over the weekend would make it go away and for moment it did however this is going around the office and damn the office.
A boy I don’t get to see that often called and asked if I wanted a hot sweaty lunch. [...]

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head over heels, sometimes

I woke up the other night
panicked cause you weren’t beside me
listening to some Ella and Louis
while finishing up some work
made me miss you even more
the notion of growing old together
even though idealistic, romantic
is all I want
from you

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